Because a) the long explanation is that there isn’t TIME for another job because of all the workshops and lesson planning I have to do.  It’s impossible to find someone to hire you for 9 weeks, when you have demands like, I need these 4 dates in June off, and then 2 whole weeks in July because, you know, I’m going to an AP workshop in Tampa.  Fat chance.  b)  I work around the clock the other 10 months of the year and really need a week to relax, since I gave up my spring break to take students on a trip and then gave up the next 3 weekends to take students to competitions and go to training, and haven’t taken a real personal day (not a sick one) since NOVEMBER.  c) going into teaching for the money and the summers off would make me Stupid with a capital S.  d) I went into teaching because I love the Spanish language and wanted to impart the love to children.  I was lofty, like most are, and wanted to motivate students to learn, try new things.  I wanted to give back to the community that I grew up in, because I don’t believe in abandoning the place you came from.  That’s not the way to make things better.  These are some of the reasons I went into education.  Notice summer anywhere, I didn’t think so.  It’s the only time I have to revamp my lessons, and doggoneit, every single year I DO reinvent myself so that I can stay on the “cutting edge” of language acquisition theory.

I’m really certain “dude” didn’t mean to set me off, and I didn’t say anything to him, just sorta blinked and walked away, but I’m so sick of listening to people bash teachers, without any background knowledge, and then accuse them of being in it for the “vacation” time and the money.  Yea, like I’m rolling in the dough over here.

In fact, today, a student and I decided to brave the drawers back there looking for spare napkins for our individual whiteboards (as I am tired of running to the store every other day for more napkins….and broke), and were disgusted by not only all the roach POOP.  yes, I said POOP.  Of Magnificient Proportions, but also by a box of sugar someone left open, AND 4 GLORIOUSLY HAPPY ROACHES THE SIZE OF MY HEAD.

I nearly died.  You see, I have this fear of roaches that stems from living on the westside.  I mean, a sweaty palms, pee in your pants, kinda fear.  I can identify the sound of their wings, I fear them so greatly.  So what could we do but slam the drawer shut and run screaming from the room and then shiver from head to toe.

This time of year is hard.  I always seem to get a second wind and want to push as much in as I can, and students are the opposite.   It’s a downward spiral from spring break on.  Problematic for them, since at spring break we still had a quarter of school left.  Problematic for me because I can’t tolerate whining.  Today was one of those days.  I think I just need to step away for the afternoon and do something else and think about something else.  It was just one of those days that I could have done without. 

That said, last week I went home every day thinking how much I loved my job.  We had a quesadilla day on cinco de mayo and I was so entertained by my students.  They really can be adorable.

Yesterday one of my students sent me a message telling me Happy Mother’s Day, even though I didn’t have children, I had an influence on more “kids” than most people.  That was really sweet. 

I am also planning the first Spanish banquet.  I’m nervous and excited.  Nervous because I’m afraid it will be a huge disaster, and excited because our program has grown so much that we can have one.  I’m trying to think of awards to give students.  I’ve already started working on my “last day” stuff for my Spanish 4 class.  It’s going to be even better than last year’s, which ended the period with group hugs and tears. 

This is turning out to be more random than I intended, but this is my “journal,”  so whatever.

However, this particular day, I had to put aside my “thumper” speech.  (Every class I’ve ever had, minus the first year, always tries to be on their best behavior when the principal walks in.  It’s just common sense.  I don’t want to make them feel or look bad in front of him because they need the confidence boost whenever possible of being seen performing at their best.  So I’m not going to ruin it by giving them the speech.)  We run through a good routine, make excellent pace, and then we break for lunch.  (It’s a split period.)  When we come back from lunch, without the principal observing, they are immediately back to their old tricks.  I have to, in the first thirty seconds we’re back, send a boy outside for calling another student a “fgot.”  As soon as he leaves the room another student says, “O, so the principal is gone, so you’re going to be mean again.”  What?!?  I’m not the one who called 3 other people an ugly word.  They can be so delusional.  Is it just me, or was I really being mean?  Do they not see how their behavior changed immediately? 

This class is so full of bullies.  I’m at my wit’s end.

The principal caught me this morning and let me know they not only gave us the amount we requested, they gave us more.   I love my job.  I work on a great team with great administrators.

I’m just having a couple of weeks where everything seems to finally be going my way.  Praise God!

1st Period: Working on Si clauses.  (If/then statements are a little complicated in Spanish.)  Students were coming up with their own if/then statements.  Started out with, If I had a million dollars then I would buy an airplane kind of thing.  Then they turned on me.  They started hurling insults at me in Spanish.  “If señorita were 3 inches taller, she could reach the cabinet, or at least the counter.”  If señorita were 2 inches shorter, she would be considered a midget.”  Har Har.  It was actually pretty funny.  They didn’t go mean-spirited so it was kinda fun.

3rd Period:  Confused student greets me with “Hey señorita, I missed you yesterday.”

With it student “She was here yesterday…..and so were you.”

Confused “Oh.  Well… you weren’t yourself yesterday.”

Me “Who was I?”

Confused……blank stare.

 ¹ “Sing, O barren woman,
       you who never bore a child;
       burst into song, shout for joy,
       you who were never in labor;
       because more are the children of the desolate woman
       than of her who has a husband,”
       says the LORD.

 ² “Enlarge the place of your tent,
       stretch your tent curtains wide,
       do not hold back;
       lengthen your cords,
       strengthen your stakes.

 ³ For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
       your descendants will dispossess nations
       and settle in their desolate cities.

 ⁴ “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame.
       Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
       You will forget the shame of your youth
       and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

 ⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
       the LORD Almighty is his name—
       the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
       he is called the God of all the earth.

 ⁶ The LORD will call you back
       as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
       a wife who married young,
       only to be rejected,” says your God.

 ⁷ “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
       but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

 ⁸ In a surge of anger
       I hid my face from you for a moment,
       but with everlasting kindness
       I will have compassion on you,”
       says the LORD your Redeemer.

 ⁹ “To me this is like the days of Noah,
       when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
       So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
       never to rebuke you again.

 ¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
       and the hills be removed,
       yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
       nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
       says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

I don’t know how to put it into words right now, but for the past few months, I’ve felt like God has really been working on me.  I mean, every Sunday, the sermon either hits me right in the forehead like a tree trunk, or hits me right in the heart.  I’ve been queen waterworks.  And I hate to cry in public.  I used this passage because it was the sermon a few weeks ago (maybe a month?) and I was flooding the pew almost instantaneously. 

I have a few things I’m praying about right now on a regular basis.  Some are simple, like opportunities to get involved at church.  I joined a women’s study that meets on Wednesday nights and it was a great opportunity.  I’m also praying for opportunities to serve.  (I’m also praying that I can finally get well so I can think straight about these things.)  I’ve been realizing lately that I tend to throw myself at my job and serve there so much that there’s nothing left to give.  I’ve been praying about knowing when to say no at work to things that are not really important so I can have time to do things that ARE important.  I’m praying about stepping back from a major extra curricular next year.  I feel like I’ve already got my answer on that one, I’m just trying to find the right words to say to the person I need to talk to about it, and I have to wait until the right time to do it.  Now is not that time. 

I’m so thankful to God that I can find so much joy in my job.  When I went back to work on Thursday and Friday, I was so grateful to be back in a pleasant environment.  I had several warm and fuzzy moments.  (And not just because I was pumped full of medicine!)They are really adorable. 

There are a few other things I’m praying about that are not so simple.  I don’t want to advertise those here.  If anyone wants to know, they can ask me personally. 

Anyway, I just wanted a record of this, so I don’t forget the things I’ve learned from this.  I’m not sure what the point of this blog is anymore other than that.

So, I was already gearing up to cry before the day even started I was so proud of them.  Then in first period, which is Spanish 4, they told me what they did while I was out.  (I might leave a plan, but they always seem to create their own.)  The sub didn’t get there on Monday until 3/4 of class was over (not her fault), and the door was locked for a good while, so they sat on the sidewalk outside my classroom and chatted in Spanish until someone let them in the room (half an hour later).  Then they played a game I taught them.  I usually start a sentence with a word or two, and then each person has to add a word until the sentence can no longer go on.  They love that game, and it’s great for review because I can pick whatever tense we’re working on, and start off with a unit appropriate vocabulary theme, although they usually take the sentence in all different directions.    So, they played that game and did Spanish Improv the rest of the period.  I heart them.

That class works so well with each other.  It was truly a wonderful way to start the day.  We listened to a song and filled in the blanks to the lyrics, something I’ve been doing about once a week to increase our listening skills as well as expose them to music from the Spanish speaking world.  (Because for some reason all my students come into Spanish 1 thinking the only type of Spanish music available is mariachi.  I’ve got some of them hooked now….NOT to mariachi)  Then we worked with some if/then statements.  It was applied grammar bliss.  The conditional and imperfect subjunctive together, oh my.

Then, in 3rd period I checked the file cabinets where I store concession food.  (We’re allowed to fundraise after lunch) and my stock was nearly empty.  Apparently the after class store functioned well without me too.  I was supposed to run concessions for an event this Friday night at the school, but the student in charge of the event came to me during class and told me that if I still wasn’t feeling well another teacher had agreed to do it. 

So, I need not worry when an emergency arises such as this week and I can’t be there.  My students know the program and run it whether I’m there or not. 

What a pleasant day back.